I was a little nervous going in, mainly because when I was a kid and i got one of my teeth pulled out, it was an awfully dreadful experience.  (At least that's how I remember it anyway.)  Also, it didn't exactly help ease my anxiety when i had to wait an extra half hour in the dentist chair.

It wasn't all bad though.  One thing that helped though the day was how cute the dentist assistants were.  I have had a moment with one of them.

I was lying down with the dentist chair fully reclined.  I took an extra moment to look around the room and appreciate the soft purple tones and the easy listening radio station playing in the background.  Marie, one of the dentist assistants, walks in.  I couldn't tell exactly what she looked like under that paper mask, but I can just tell by her brown-eyes and black hair that she was gorgeous.

Marie softly asks me to open my mouth so she can apply the local anesthesia.  While Marie was fiddling with the inside of my mouth, Marvin Gay's "Let's Get it On" starts playing on the radio.  It was perfect.

I look into her eyes.  She looks into mine.  Bodies collide.

And then the fantasy is ruined when my dentist walks in with his indian accent, "are you ready to do dis??"

So anyways, fast forward a few minutes later.  The dentist is making some incisions to expose my hidden wisdom tooth.  The local anesthesia is well into effect but I still squirm as I can still feel the incisions being made.  I notice the chair I'm sitting in is shaking.  A lot.  I look at the corner of my eye to see if its the dentist that's doing it but then I realize that it's me.  My body is just trembling uncontrollably.

A few minutes later, the dentist has the plier-type device and he's yanking the fuck out of my mouth.  I feel him moving the tooth side-to-side, up-and-down, and twisting it left and right.  God damn I wish I was passed out for this shit.

Of course, at this point of the extraction, there was no turning back if I wanted to.  I'm left at the mercy of my dentist, who I can see is clearly struggling at my stubborn wisdom tooth.  It wasn't painful...just awkward as fuck.  And my body is still trembling.  The only thing I could think of doing to keep me entertained was...dirty talk.

"Oh yeah!!  Fuck yeah!!  Pull that shit, baby!!  Harder, bitch!  Harder!!  Oh don't give up, keep going!!  Show that tooth who's daddy!!"

And just around 4pm, after thirty-minutes of tugging and pulling, the dentist pulls out the trophy tooth.

"Damn, you made me work up a sweat!"

That's right, bitch.

So the dentist took a couple minutes to catch a break, then it was off to battle with my other wisdom tooth.  Fortunately, this one is fully exposed from the gum so he didn't have to make any incisions; he just grabbed the "pliers" and went to work.

20 seconds later, he pulled out.

"Damn, that was quick!"

But my body is still shaking from the first tooth.  Honestly, my body hasn't done that much shaking since my first lapdance back in junior year of high school.

So there you have it, my first wisdom tooth extraction experience.  Needless to say, my mouth is sore and my body is exhausted.  But its all good because I got my big stack of jello and pudding cups in my fridge.