When you're eating a big meal, its all or nothing. Whatever is on your plate you must destroy. Eat like there is no tomorrow. Eat like there is no such thing as leftovers.

after 5 failed seasons of losing and getting knocked off in the playoffs, i finally felt the joys of being on a winning basketball team at cal poly.

for the past 3 seasons i've been teamed up with deadly threepoint sharp shooter Sharif and all-around wonder Kevin. despite our team chemistry, we've never been able to get passed the 2nd round.

but this season, it finally all came together. with the addition of Taye, a skinny indian kid with long arms and an unstoppable left-handed hook shot and a new squad of defensive minded role players, Team Faded looked like a team that could make some noise.

the regular season ended with a 5-6 record...but Team Faded swept through the playoffs 4-0, capping the playoff run with a thrilling 2 point victory over the #1 team, Nothing But Net.

yay...lent is here...for all of you non-catholics out there, this is the time when catholics must make personal sacrifices and resist a temptation for a full 40 days and 40 nights.

so what should i give up? spending on my credit card? meat on fridays? sweets? sex? ha, that'd be an easy one...

maybe i could do like the movie and give up anything related to sex...damn...that'd mean no porn...no buffing the wood...no more inflatable chasey lain...

ah fuck that. i think i'll give up meat on fridays. yeah, that's what i'll do....give up meat on fridays. i had a real hard time remembering that last year...maybe i'll actually go thru it this time....

so i went to the dmv today...my 21st birthday is comin' up and my nevada license is expiring. i just moved into my house so i figured i might as well get a california license.

after getting 100% on my written test...guess what i was rewarded with...3 extra lbs. that's right, the bitch added 3 extra lbs to my weight info on my drivers license. damnit, now i am legally fatter.

Eat when you're happy and you want to celebrate. Eat when you're sad and you want something good out of your day. Be an emotional eater, and soon you'll be a heavyweight champion!!

Because you'll be eating so fast, you rarely will have enough time to appreciate the taste of your food. This is where condiments come in. Add lots of it. Tons of it. You'll find your food to have more flavor, not to mention it will add those extra calories to every meal.

I highly recommend eating a lot before going to bed. Or even better, eat to the point that you get sleepy. This way your body will be able to absorb all calories with maximum efficiency.

It typically takes 8 minutes for food to get from your mouth to your stomach. With this in mind, eat as much as you can, as fast as can, before the 8 minutes is up.