Saturday, June 21, 2003

yesterday i went to porn convention. daaaaamn. me, mark, raynell, eric and joey were all there for 5 hours...my how time flies when you're surrounded by pornstars. there was this booth that i checked out that was selling sex toys...and the lady was trying to demonstrate some shit to me...

Mel: hey, what's this? (i pick up some hard spongy ball thing)

Lady: that is a waterproof vibrator...

Lady: (picks it up and turns it on)

Lady: this is really good when you have sex in the shower...for example when you do your girl doggystyle, you can put it on her clit while you do her from behind...

Mel: ahh ok

Lady: or if you're gay, you can do it like...

Mel: (interrupts) NO. i'm straight.

Lady: oh, ok

Mel: whoa, is that a fake pussy?

Lady: yes it is!! check this out!! (picks it up and lubes up the insides)

Lady: this thing is great!!

Lady: stick you finger in it!!

Mel: nah...really...its ok....

Lady: no no no, come on, just try it

Mel: nah....

Lady: DO IT!!!

Mel: fine!!!

Mel: ...

Lady: doesn't that feel like a real pussy? like a really tight one?

Mel: (thinking to myself how gross this is) uhhhh yeah

Mel: ...can you pass me a tissue, please??

so anyways, when i was there i also caught up with augustus and gave him the grand tour. there were a buncha pornstars this year, including tera patrick, brittanny andrews, brianna banks, dyanna lauren, serenity, ron jeremy and a whole lot more. i'll post up the pics as soon as i can.