just for your entertainment, i'll tell the story three different ways...

Dramatic Version

it was about 11 'o clock at night. full moon, clear skies, cold breeze. i had just left elisa's place for Sav-On so i could get a compass for one of my astronomy projects. i was bumpin' Lucacris' newest track, Get Back, on full blast, rapping along the sick rhymes and explicit lyrics...

Get back, motherfucker!! Ya'll don't know me like that!!

(Get back, motherfucker!! Ya'll don't know me like that!!)

Git, Git!! (wut wut!!) I ain't playin' aroun'!!

One false move and I'll take ya down!!!

Get back, motherfucker!! Ya'll don't know me like that!!

sometime during the melly version of the song as i was entering the 57-South freeway, i noticed a silhouette in the distance...

"wtf? that looked like a horse...but this ain't montana..."

in just a blink of an eye, the silhouette had disappeared into the shadow as a cloud covered the peaceful ambience of the full moon...

i continued on with my rap solo as i sped up the car to match the speed of traffic...and then out of no where, not just one, not two, but three huge auburn-brown horses were standing just half-a-second away...

in that split second, my tiger-like ninja reflexes took over the wheel and dodged the herd of beasts with surgical precision and abruptly came to a stop at the shoulder of the freeway.

my body was still, sandy was untouched, and the horses were unharmed.

Wussy Version

i was driving to Sav-On in my cute little compact SUV, singing along to the deep, yet playful words of Vanessa Carlton.

If I could fall into the sky,

Do you think time

would pass me by?

'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you...

Tonight.

Dodee da dodoo do dee dee dee dum

Dodee da dodoo do dee dee dee dum

Lala la la, lala la laaa

All of a sudden, three beautiful brown horses were walking aimlessly and innocently in the middle of the road.

"Oh my gooshness!!"

i closed my eyes and braked with all my might...and miraculously, i came to a complete stop without harming myself, the horses nor the car!!

"whew!! everything is okay...thank you, God!!! that was a close one!! i need to lie down..."

Cliffs Notes Version

i was getting onto the freeway, almost crashed into three escaped cal poly horses. somehow managed to dodge the fuckers without pooing myself again.