"no way dude, i don't want our balls rubbing against eachother"

"you've been out cold for the past half-hour. i figured if i did some gay shit you'd wake up"

m. night shaylaman's the village was meh

I bought a ukulele

updog!!

who the fuck is lisa and how the hell did you get in my cell phone??

playing with kids at the beach is fun...until you realize how shady you look in the eyes of the suspicious mom...

tied my record of 13 top dogs in 2 days

pleat/ruffle mini skirts, finally a fucking fashion trend that i like to see on girls.