I've always believed that if I always treat people the way I want to be treated, good things will happen to me.

That working hard and being kind will take me places.

That what goes around, comes around.

That all the times I've gotten burned is just me paying my dues, and later in life I will be rewarded for my selflessness. For my compassion. For my internal desire to want to make my mark on this world by leaving it a little more beautiful than I found it.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe the only way to get what I really want is to be selfish. To take what I want. To not prioritize anyone or anything else but myself and what I want.

But I don't want that. I don't want to believe that.

I can't explain why it is so deeply entrenched in me to always want to do the right thing, when my biggest losses in the past have proven that I will be just be taken advantage of.

Maybe I'm just being blind. Stupid. Naive. Ignorant. I don't know"¦

But I'll keep trying.

There has to be something good for me out there. Something that'll make everything in the past worthwhile.

At least I hope so.