Funny ass posts from http://www.mylifeisaverage.com:
Today, I said goodbye to my friend, and then we both kept walking in the same direction. MLIA.
Today, I was walking faster than the person in front of me on the sidewalk, so I awkwardly passed them. I proceeded to walk unnaturally fast to make sure they didn't catch up to me. MLIA
Today, I was in the bathroom and I checked behind the shower curtain to see if there was a psycho there with a knife. There wasn't. MLIA
Today, I turned off the lights in my basement as I left. I was alone, so I ran up the stairs because it was dark. MLIA
I am white. Today, I was driving with the windows down while listening to some hardcore rap music, thinking I was cool. I was stopped at a red light next to some black people. I turned the music down. MLIA
Today, I went to the store and bought some Land o Lakes cheese. On the label, it said 'LOL Cheese'. I laughed. MLIA
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She yelled out the name Tommy. My name is Tommy. MLIA
Today, I popped my G-String while fingering a minor. Now I have to buy a new violin string. MLIA.
Today, I had to put my dog down. My arms were tired. MLIA
Today, this old guy wanted to pay me so I'd follow him around for 4 hours and wipe his balls off. It's ok though, I'm a caddie.
Today, my mom told me that it was time I grew up and started to make my own dinner. I asked her to show me how to work the stove and make raman noodles. I knew how, but I just wanted her to do it for me. MLIA.
Today I went downstairs to get water. I came back up with chocolate. I forgot my water. MLIA
Today I went to Costco and saw that one of the samples was almost ready to be served. I pretended to shop for cheeses until they were ready. MLIA.
Today I was sitting in class staring down at a girl's cleavage. I looked up to see if she noticed. She didn't so I looked back down. MLIA
Today, I came up to some automatic doors, and there was no one around. While they opened, I spread my arms, so I felt like I was telekinetic. A woman saw me, so I made a fake yawn and pretended to be stretching. MLIA
Today I went downstairs to get water. I came back up with chocolate. I forgot my water. MLIA
theloveofyourlife: O...M...G MEL
theloveofyourlife: Today, I opened the fridge. There was nothing I wanted to eat in there. After 15 minutes, I opened it again. There still wasn't anything I wanted to eat in there. MLIA
theloveofyourlife: HAHAHAHAH STORY OF OUR LIVES
HAHAHAH