10. Keep your promises.
11. Break me out of my introverted shell. Inspire me to step out of my comfort zone.
12. Know when to be patient with me and give me space when I need it.
13. Know when to be blunt and push me harder. Remind me you're pushing me harder because you want what is best for me.
14. Understand that I have an emotional breaking point where my ugly side comes out. And don't judge me for my tendency to hold grudges against people that hurt me to that breaking point.
15. Stick up for me and/or give me the benefit of the doubt when you hear shit about me, and then ask for my side of the story.
16. If you hurt me, you apologize through actions, not just words (or text message).
17. Inspire me to be a better person, especially when I'm struggling.
18. Random acts of kindness. Surprise me with sincerity. Show me that our relationship isn't dependent on me initiating everything.
19. Be straight up with me. No secrets. No lies. Understand that I might get upset at first, but in the long run it will strengthen my trust and respect in you.

The beautiful thing about being such a sentimental person is I remember moments like they just happened yesterday.

The painful thing about being such a sentimental person is I remember moments like they just happened yesterday.

Saying "I forgive you" is easy.

Actually meaning it and truly believing in your heart, "I will no longer hold you responsible for my pain"...That's the hard part.

But that's why you'll feel so free when you finally do.

Trying to find that fine line between not dwelling and learning from past mistakes.

Maybe it's somewhere between letting go and holding on to what I believe in.

I don't know yet. But I'll keep digging deep inside myself til I find it.

-Mel

For all the times you see through my fake smiles.

For all the times I need you the most, deserve you the least, and give you all the reasons to walk out on me.

For all the times I am selfish, impatient, insecure, irrational, out of control and at my absolute worst"¦

Thank you, my closest friends, from the bottom of my heart"¦for never giving up on me and always supporting me no matter what.

All of the good times I have are only possible because you helped me get through the bad times.

It's only in darkness when we can truly appreciate our lucky stars. And for all my lucky stars that watch out for me"¦I owe you so much and trust you with my life.

Thank you. Again. For everything.

-Mel

Let me guess:

• You act like everything is just fine and dandy, hoping that he'll just figure it out and back off eventually.

• You act passive-aggressive by screening his calls/texts/messages and give him the cold shoulder in person.

• You lie to him with something like, "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" or "I'm talking to somebody."

• You ask a mutual friend to help you out and talk to the guy.

Let me tell you what you should do:

Reject him. Straight up.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with turning down a guy that you're not interested in. All it takes is a simple, "I'm sorry but I don't look at you that way."

No need to give him attitude. No need to get all passive-aggressive. No need to feed him BS.

Just reject him. Straight up. But do it with class.

Sure, it'll be awkward for a little while, but by outright turning him down, you set his expectations back down to reality. If he really does not have a chance with you, you need to make sure he doesn't have a single thread of hope to cling on to.

If you don't draw the line, this is what will happen:

• He will keep pushing your friendship boundaries over and over and over. — "I know it's 3am but I'm gonna text her and tell her I miss her!"

• He will over-analyze every single action you do, every word you say, and make a big deal out of the smallest, stupidest shit. — "She did/didn't Like my post on her Facebook! I'm so fucking happy/emo!"

• His subconscious will constantly rationalize for reasons to believe that you're into him. — "She said I'm the nicest guy she's ever met! She totally wants me."

• He'll get jealous of any other guy that comes into the picture, including (and especially) other mutual guy friends. — "Why is my friend talking to her? What are they talking about? Why are they laughing so much??"

All of that will drag on for MONTHS until you finally bring it up to him.

If you wait too long to do it, in his eyes you'll go from being this "perfect" girl on a pedestal to "the heartless, unappreciative bitch that took advantage of every nice thing I did for her and threw me to the side the minute another guy came into the picture."

So ladies"¦just be straight up the guys around you.

There's no need for you to deal with drama. There's no need for the guy to build up his hopes for months only to have it come crashing down. There's no need to drag in your mutual friends and make it awkward for everyone.

I know you don't wanna come off as a bitch and you don't want to deal with the awkwardness. Totally understandable. But if you have zero interest in a guy that keeps insisting on being more than friends"¦save yourself the months of potential drama and just let him know whats up.

Thanks.

-Mel

(And no, this post isn't about me or made to call out anyone specific. This is just something that I've lived through several times in the past and continue to notice from other friends on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr & in person.)

keshialee:

I think depending on what you're doing, and what you're going through throughout your life, you have sets of friends.

You have friends for this particular sport you do, because of a hobby you have whether it be music, dance, or anything like that. And your friends are really different, all of them. and you go through a stage when all you do is be with them everyday, then all of a sudden you find yourself hanging around another set of friends.

but that doesn't mean you've forgotten anything that you've been through with them. After being with someone or a group of people everyday you pretty much know their insides and outs. Just because you stop hanging out with someone for a while doesn't mean you don't want to be around them, it just means life is throwing you in a different direction, and the next stage in life.

We learn the most by growing from others. The people we surround ourselves with will make a huge impact on our lives.

I miss so many people, it's inevitable to say “i miss you.” i've met some of the most amazing people in my life.

and people have been in and out, but that doesn't mean they're out forever. it means they're out living their lives and living their dreams. everyone goes through stages of friends, but throughout those stages, i'll keep and remember all of the friendships and memories i've made throughout my lifetime.

THIS.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially of everyone I've met since Summer 2008.

I miss those endless hours on BlogTV. I miss those all-night Skype calls and Tokbox slumber parties. I miss seeing the same friendly faces at JAG every week. I miss driving to NorCal or San Diego on back-to-back-to-back weekends. I miss having a FB invite every week to a show that EVERYONE will be at. I miss flying all over the place so I could spend time with friends and meet more amazing people.

But I'm forcing myself to keep a low-profile. I have to do what's best for me, and at the moment, that means focusing on getting my career back on track.

I know that life is pulling you all into different directions too, whether it's for school, work, music or your relationship with your significant other. Whatever it is you're focusing on, I fully support you doing whatever is best for you.

I miss you all dearly. And even though we don't hang out as much as we used to, I know the next time we do, it'll be like we never skipped a beat.

Love you all. Always. <3

-Mel

I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Test that @mpolinar tweeted today and HOLY CRAP, I'm just MINDBLOWN at how accurate the results are.

I actually took this personality test years ago and got the exact same result. But this time around, the results have a lot more meaning; the last few years have given me a much better understanding of what makes me tick.

Here are some of the results that really speak to me:

ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed."

...They are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself).

In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option.

Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.)

Source: http://typelogic.com/isfj.html

...Their primary interest is in the safety and security of those they care about - their family, their circle of friends, their students, their patients, their boss, their fellow-workers, or their employees. Protectors have an extraordinary sense of loyalty and responsibility in their makeup, and seem fulfilled in the degree they can shield others from the dirt and dangers of the world.

Source: http://keirsey.com/4temps/protector.asp

Protectors value tradition, both in the culture and in their family.

This is the Guardian least likely to seek positions of leadership since they may feel uncomfortable in the lime-light. They are often seen as the people who do whatever is necessary to keep things running smoothly. They do their best to prevent problems.

Source: http://keirsey.com/personalityzone/wz19.asp

ISFJ will Love you by doing practical things and by saying "I love you", just don't expect them to initiate the verbal expression.

Is a natural for remembering and valuing birthdays, ceremonies, anniversaries, holidays, weddings, tradition, institutions.

Source: http://www.personality-power-for-everyday-living.com/Compatibility-test-isfj.html

What makes them feel best about themselves is when others show them their appreciation of the ISFJ. Consequently, the best gift that the partner of an ISFJ can give them is the expression of their love and appreciation.

ISFJs usually feel a strong need to talk problems and issues over with people before making decisions on their actions.

The love to observe people's reactions and emotions in situations, and so enjoy being around diverse types of people. The ISFJ usually remains reserved around others, and does not open up very much. However, since they have a need to talk things over with others in order to make decisions, they do really need some close confidantes in their life.

Source: http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISFJ_rel.html

// thanks MP

// Day Five

No regrets here. And I don't fully believe in the notion of predestination or that "everything happens for a reason." I believe God/karma/life throws opportunities at us but it's up to us to make the best of those opportunities.

I can't predict what the future is gonna throw at me, nor can I predict how I'll react to something in the heat of the moment. So to hear that "everything happens for a reason" as if all of the good & bad times in my life were already planned out...that just doesn't work for me.

Whatever happens to me -- whether its life's curveballs thrown my way or results of bad decisions I've made in the past -- I define my own reason.

So instead of posting regrets, here are Six Painful Lessons I've Learned:

1. After my first heartbreak, I learned that love is nothing like the movies. There is no such thing as a simple "happily ever after." Both sides have to trust each other completely, be on the same page and be willing to make great sacrifices for each other.
2. After another heartbreak, I learned to look at it this way: "You wanted so bad to be with the wrong person, imagine how beautiful it'll be when you find the right one." I also learned, "Don't settle. Ever."
3. Six years after walking in on my college roommate having sex, I learned to appreciate all of the random, trivial and painful things that led me to where I am today. (You'll have to read that link to see what I mean.)
4. When someone close to me told me of their dying condition, I learned that we need to take better care of our bodies because we only get one. (I'm totally guilty of forgetting this..I need to remind myself of this more often.)
5. When my uncle passed away to lung cancer, I learned to never take my mom & dad for granted. This heartbreak also led me to this next one...
6. ...There is no such thing as "perfection." Embrace all of the imperfections in your life.
7. After getting my first full-body massage, I learned to ALWAYS request a female masseuse.

Sorry, just had to throw in that extra one, haha.

-Mel

Every person I've ever encountered.

Every heart that's come my way.

Every emotion I've been through.

Every smile.

Every tear.

Every moment of love or heartbreak.

Every moment of weakness or inspiration.

Everything has led me to where I am today.

Right here.

Right now.

This is truly where I'm meant to be,

At this very moment.