dear god,

thank you for creating hooters restaurants. thank you for creating hooters buffalo wings. thank you for creating hooters girls...girls like kristine and jen. thank you for creating nights like this when one super hot hooters girl grabs the hooters of her fellow super hot hooters girls. thank you, god. thank you.

amen.

• harold & kumar go to white castle fucking rules

  

• "no way dude, i don't want our balls rubbing against eachother"

• "you've been out cold for the past half-hour. i figured if i did some gay shit you'd wake up"

  

• m. night shaylaman's the village was meh

• I bought a ukulele

  

• updog!!

• who the fuck is lisa and how the hell did you get in my cell phone??

• playing with kids at the beach is fun...until you realize how shady you look in the eyes of the suspicious mom...

  

• tied my record of 13 top dogs in 2 days

• pleat/ruffle mini skirts, finally a fucking fashion trend that i like to see on girls.

and it was fucking gone!!!

two hours of driving, all for nothing. the place was supposed to be there for another 10 days as a promo for Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle...but it was so successful they finished all their burgers, packed up their shit and left early!!! noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Harold: i want that.

Kumar: want what?

Harold: i want what they have.

Kumar: hot dogs?

Harold: no. i want that feeling that they have

Harold: ...the feeling that you get when you know you got exactly what you desire...

• roommate and apartment smell really bad...and extra-strength febreeze isn't working...searched half an hour for an air freshener but there's no such thing as a manly fragrance.

  

  why the fuck don't they make manly air fresheners?? maybe something that smellls like burgers or a BBQ or a strip club.

• broke my computer chair...2nd chair in two years...damn you in-n-out!!

  

• holes in your shorts are pretty bad...and its a lot worse when you rip it when you're freeballing on campus...

• sold my ipod mini and got myself a new 4G (fourth generation) ipod.

  

• last week i saw a huge sign in front of the Sears hardware section... "tool territory. where tools rule."

  

• dead or alive xtreme beach volleyball = teh new hotness.

  

• Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius.

Today we salute you, Mr. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having a good time, you are at home reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, get buddy info, or the little info box at the bottom of the Buddy List. You have people on that list you havent talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages everyday to see what they are up to. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Marauder of the Mousepad,and dont wander too far from your computer, because you never know when somebodys away message may change.

• diet vanilla coke is teh new hotness.

• napolean dynamite is the funniest stupid movie evar.

• "i see you're drinking 1% milk...is that because you think you're fat? cuz you're not...you could be drinking whole milk if you wanted to..."

• "i've been chatting online with babes all day, what have you done?"

• mike holt came by...he got mobbed in huntington beach cuz some drunken fucks thought he was tom cruise

• spider-man 2 soundtrack rocks.

• "you're not a girl, you're just a dude with long hair"

• 50 first dates soundtrack / reggae covers of 80s songs rock.

• sex in the shower is cool...but other people having sex in your shower isn't....

• pube was really really sick...he was breathing abnormally for two days straight...i did everything i could but he passed away in his sleep...

  

• one-night stands should remain one-night stands...none of this clingy gf for 72 hours business...

my hamster, my first pet,

my left-over-lettuce-from-my-burger buddy,

my pick-up line / ice breaker in the dorms,

my illegal roommate of 2.5 years...

my friend...

Pubert "Pube" Tajon

February 11, 2002 - July 24, 2004

thanks for all the goodtimes, little guy.

i'll never forget...

• all the sleepless nights of him running on his squeeky exercise wheel

• the one and only time he bit me, only because my hands smelled like chicken

• the one and only time he peed on me, only because i woke him up while he was dreaming

• the way he managed to scale up the walls and do a couple monkey bar moves to get out of his cage

• waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of him sneezing when he was sick

• the times i let him run around in my jeans

• the way he was scared of open spaces

• the way he'd sit down like a little kid, and eat the food off of his belly with his eyes closed around 2pm every afternoon

• the time he got his head stuck in a quarter-sized hole of a shoe box with his mouth full of food

• the one night, late spring 2003, when he ran out into the middle of the hallway and broke the ice between me and april

• the night i met angela and melissa because they wanted to play with him

• the way he was so good when being babysat by rose & janet

• escaping from his cage, jumping off the counter and magically appearing on the front yard

• when i came back from vegas and found escaped pube, licking at my toes

• letting him play peek-a-boo with empty toilet paper rolls

• all the times i let him run around in his excercise ball...and all the times i had to clean up his piss & shit inside the exercise ball.

• playing tug-a-war with him and a piece of toilet paper

• seeing how many seeds i could fit in his mouth

• his first fight with chomper gonzales

• "does he run around and shit or is he a lazy bitch ass like mel?"

• "his balls are HUGE"

• happy hour $0.30 buffalo wings fuckin' rock!!! they should call it Melvie Hour or Fatty Hour.

• the waves at manhattan beach suck

• josh's gf's friends are cute...especially the one with braces...

  

• who goes to the beach with their parents?!

• i caught the hot girl in my class cheating during a test...for some reason that turned me on...

  

• kobe's staying with the lakers!!!

• i downloaded the pilot episode of Joey, the friends spinoff...so far so good

  

• i was on national tv again...i accidently stood up in front of the camera at the laker game (summer league) and the camera guy was all "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY"

• rose got a henna tattoo on her lower back...and then left an imprint of it on the leather of my passenger seat...

  

I know I'm supposed to keep this on the DL but I gotta let it out...

Please, none of you guys tell your parents...thanks...

• played beer pong with chris, josh & rose...putang ina rose does NOT know how to handle beer...by far the most dramatic drunken night in the history of the world...

  

• went to huntington with josh & rose...we saw a bulldog riding a skateboard by itself, pedaling and all!!

  

• i found out the coolest thing today...i'm hawaiian and chinese...on my mom's side...

  

*diana is a bitch...

or at least the celebrity that you're most attracted to (if you watched Friends, you'd refer to this as "The List.") okay, now imagine you bumping into them on the street...what would you say to them?

anyways, i was at natalie's fourth of july party and out of nowhere i get a call from my kick ass cousin, rose...

Rose: hey mel, i'm at church...and guess who's here...
Rose: you're precious Jasmine Trias...
Rose: you wanna talk to her??
Mel:

holy balls, are you fucking kidding me?? shit...i mean, you always see on tv how girls start crying and all when people like 'nsync get on stage...and how "teeny-bopper" they call get...omg, for the first time in my life i actually felt like that...

Jasmine: hi mel, how's it going?

i can't remember exactly how the conversation went but basically i could only manage something really casual and really short. basically she was in town visiting family in cerritos (my town) and she's takin' off tomorrow to get ready for the American Idol tour. she'll be on next monday's episode of North Shore (Fox, 8pm) but she won't be singing...i was too damn shocked/nervous to think of anything funny or witty to say to her...but whatevers, that made my day my year.

ps. picture evidence (from rose's camera phone) coming soon