Something big came up last night and it really changed my perspective on things. I realized that yeah, I would treat certain people differently, and that no, the resentment would no longer be worth it.

Just like that, this heavy weight on my heart that I've been carrying around for the past couple months...suddenly had no reason to be there anymore.

What ever happened, happened. And whatever million questions I had on why things ended the way they did...they just don't matter.

So today, I set myself free. With just a few text messages I was able to make amends...And man, it feels so good to breathe again.

Designed by @vankho

xJ-weezyx12: didnt u make a vid called 2 hot dogs 1 mel or something
xJ-weezyx12: ??
melmyfinger: hahah yeah
melmyfinger: oh shit, you saw that?
xJ-weezyx12: yea lol
melmyfinger: hahaha how'd you find it??
xJ-weezyx12: idk searchin random stuff and saw it
melmyfinger: hahahah

zomg, of all things to get recognized for, hahahaah

On the second day of being back home in Summer '02 -- just a few hours after getting heartbroken by this one girl I was talking to for several months -- my homeboy came up to me:

Mel, I'm really sorry the way shit went down last night with you and her"...but I've got to be honest with you: the past few weeks I've started to feel something for her...and I get the vibe that she's into me too. I'm really starting to like her, man"¦but I won't go after her if you don't want me to.

Of course I knew the rest of summer was gonna be a shitty one, having to watch them be happy together while I deal with all the pain. But with that kind of love, respect and simple heads up he gave me as a brother...I couldn't say no.

He got the girl. I dealt with the pain. They eventually broke up...but in the end, him and I grew tighter as friends.

I'll never forget that.

Ladies and Gentlemen"¦my tattoo.

The idea behind it is simple: all the places I hold close to my heart have palm trees — Philippines, Saudi Arabia and In-N-Out California.

It just seems so personal having something of meaning on the wrist; it's always visible to me.

In psychology they say that visibly exposing your wrist to someone is body language for saying, "I trust you." I figure that if anyone ever notices my wrist tattoo, they're already someone that I trust and I'd want to share the meaning of it with them.

Otherwise it's discrete to the rest of the world. =]

(Oh, and it hurt like a biatch. hahah)

Thank you, everyone, for all the birthday wishes! I feel so young turning 21 again for the 7th straight year! My phone would NOT stop buzzing all day cuz of all the @replies, facebook notifications, tumblr posts and text messages...birthdays like yesterday remind me how blessed I am.

• _melistar
• 9natran
• adrian
• adrieee
• ajiiizzzle
• akachrisTOPS
• akbdc
• alexjohn
• aline-m
• and0n
• andykim84
• anita-jose
• anthong
• ari
• arielmariee
• ashish patel
• auroraempire
• b0otayx3
• babytoes81
• bing87
• bm-photography
• bored44
• briceorbryce
• bkeeeezy
• cathy-nguyen
• cedricjoshua
• chaaaany
• charlenedang
• chrisanne
• christina-b
• christina-luna
• christinieweenie
• cindyboo
• confidential
• cookiemunstarr
• cristie suzukawa
• cristina-dg
• da1flipguy
• dad
• dailo
• dajark
• danielszetho
• danitokyo
• darweeenie
• david-choi
• dee-celera
• dessiegirl
• devinxrenee
• djblinks
• djmajik202
• DoctorRico
• donnaaa
• dreamingoutloud
• droidoid
• eddieparas
• eddymyla
• eelyajekim
• elisa
• erniesbudolab
• ey_mikz
• farsid3pin0y
• fizzi
• flipgal77
• francisrochino
• FTWSammie
• FUNK_CHINK
• gabeezy
• genix
• goldylox
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• gotkatzy
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• halfsensed
• hayleigh
• hayley watson
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• henry-s
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• heylisajue
• hollisterloser
• hollykins
• hsustyle
• huskyboydrew
• hypnoticasia
• iiamjelly
• iknowrenato
• imjenni
• ImVeryActive
• ira-dg
• itsCHELLAbaby
• itsjonsense
• itstoofragile
• j0anne
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• janne
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• JSQUARED
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• mom
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• nadsmustafa
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• olee
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• raineezy
• raycel98
• reggiesee
• reii
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• rhezamae
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• rjay23
• rock-star
• ron_palustre
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• rowdysaudi1
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• samchy
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• shraddha
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• tiffany-o
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• udh7
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• usarmymich
• vankho
• vinimack
• vjayyy
• vobot
• whattheda
• xxflipxpryd3xx
• youlikepoo
• zeephunk

Hopefully I got everyone in here that gave me a shoutout (over 240!?!). Love you all! <33

-Mel

Back in the day, I was thinking of getting a single-worded tattoo in the form of a chinese character. Hella cliche, right?

Thankfully I've moved on passed that. I'm not sure if I'll ever get a tattoo, but it was fun putting a great deal of thought I into finding a single word that defines my life.

How do you pick one word to define your life anyway?? I can't remember how I did it...my vocab sucks. But whatever I did, it probably involved spending a lot of time searching up words on the internet. It was no easy task but I eventually came up with one word that fit nicely:

Faith.

I had three reasons for this word:

1. Faith in God because I believe He'll give me all the opportunities I'll ever need to truly be happy.
2. Faith in others because I know that I won't be able to do everything in my life by myself. And of course...
3. Faith in myself because God's not simply going to hand me everything I want on a silver platter; there are gonna be things that I will have to dig deep inside and work my ass off for. While God will give me all of the opportunities, it is up to me to make the right decisions.

But that tattoo concept of Faith was several years ago...so much has happened in my life since then.

While Faith is something that'll always keep my head up as I look towards the future, there are so many things in my life right now that I should never take for granted. And in the past, there have been so many hardships I've endured -- so many lessons learned -- that have all played a big part in shaping me to be the person I am today.

So I need a word that embraces all of that...and I think I've found it.

A single word that cherishes all of the things I've learned in the past, appreciates all of the good things in my life in the present, and keeps me optimistic as I look forward to the future. The perfect, simplest way to describe my life in just one word:

Blessed.

Honestly, I have NO IDEA where I'll be in three years. BTVfam has taught me that so much can change in just a few months, I really don't know what to expect anymore. All I can do now is be optimistic and cherish my blessings as they come. =]

As far as dreams and goals go, there are three big things I want to accomplish in my life:

1. Be Someone's #1

The past me could be easily described as one of those prototypical "Nice Guys". You know, the guy that always wanted a girl but could never get passed the friendzone.

I remember looking through a lot of my friends MySpace's (haha yes, I'm really using MySpace as an example) and I'd be on a lot of girls' Top 8...but I would NEVER be anyone's #1. Now don't get me wrong: I AM thankful to be thought of as important to a few people's lives...but I realized that I was only cheating myself by settling with being #2.

I have more dignity in myself now. I learned that everyone deserves to be someone's #1 and that you should "never make someone a priority if they're only willing to make you an option."

2. Be a Father Figure to Someone

I'm not perfect by any means...but I truly cherish all of my life's lessons and I hope that by sharing them, I could inspire someone to be a better person. There's a big part of me that really wants to take someone under my wing and play an active role in them growing as a person.

3. Touch the Lives of Complete Strangers

I remember reading, "do something unselfish and don't tell anyone about it." That's such a challenging idea -- especially when by human nature, people want to feel appreciated and have their actions be reinforced with praise -- but I think that's the ultimate testament to "selflessness."

I feel that I've somewhat accomplished that at FAP. Other than my friends, I don't think anyone in the crowd knew of the blood, sweat and tears behind my involvement with the event. But standing there on the bridge, looking down at the crowd of families, friends, musicians and fans smiling...simply one of the greatest feelings evar.

I feel I can do more though. Something that touches even more lives. I have no idea what that'll be...but one of my missions in life is to "leave the world a better place then I found it."

So those are the three things I want to accomplish in my life. Generic, I know...but someday, when I'm long gone, I hope I'll be remembered the same way as my uncle after he passed:

A Loving Husband, Father and a Good Friend to all.

To the anonymous person that asked me this question, this probably isn't anywhere close to the answer that you originally expected...but thanks for inspiring me to write! I've been wanting to share this with someone for a very long time.

Ask Me Anything:

• http://blog.melmyfinger.com.tumblr.com/ask
• http://www.formspring.me/melmyfinger

I might not answer all of them but I promise to put a lot of thought into the ones I do!