on saturday, a buncha guys went to visit our fallen homie, walter. we kicked it with his parents for a couple hours, then we went to visit his grave. this was my first time lookin' down at his gravestone...the last time i was there was at the funeral.

walter was sometimes a stubborn bastard with his little "wierd things." one thing that he firmly believe in was to not cry when someone dies. i remember back at webb, after our classmate josh kaminsky passed away, all of the homies stayed up late and talked about it. walter didn't shed one tear when josh passed away. "i don't cry because i know that when i die, i don't want you guys to be crying for me."

sorry to disappoint you bro but i cried my eyes out for ya. i cried the night that SJ called me to tell me you passed. i cried all throughout your memorial service. i cried as i walked past you for the last time just before they closed the casket. i just couldn't hold it in, man.

but this time, i remembered what you said, walter, so i did what you would've done -- i held it in.

as we stood silently looking down on his grav...i smiled. i smiled cuz all of the memories i have of him were good memories. i'm sure that we had at least one fight or something over the course of 5 years...but there were far too many good memories to outweigh any possible bad ones.

i eventually started thinkin to myself, "how will i want people to react when i pass away?" i'm sure people will cry...its just natural...but i wouldn't want people to cry everytime they visit me. if anything, i'd want people to smile. on my gravestone, instead of the typical "remembered always" mushy type stuff, i might have it so it says something stupid like, "smile if you'll sleep with me." haha. and instead of bringin flowers to my grave, i'd much rather you bring food. hell, bring a whole shit load of food and have a picnic or something. whatever it takes, all i want is to look down (or look up, depending on how bad i was :twisted: ) and see ya smiling.

anyways, i'm sure that day won't come for a very long time...i'll probably live to be 85 or something.

aight, i think i'm gonna get me a couple chili burgers. late.